Currently Listening The Rascals Have Returned By Trevor Hall see related

i decided that i really like God's timing. that when we trust Him and let Him take our lives, beauty emerges. i'm excited. this is more than i ever thought it would be... i'm learning prioritization and balance in my life. and that i need to be mature in these situations that i'm being faced with right now. that excites me... this is a new chapter, and i love it.

he bought me gerber daisies yesterday.  :)

Currently Listening How the Lonely Keep By Terminal see related

God's timing. our's is not His. i'm trusting.

hace dos dias habia una puesta de sol tan incredible. este fin de semana estuve afuera cada día, casí todo el día. me pone tanta feliz. and this morning there was a beautiful sunrise. i´m finding the beauty in simple things - and life is beautiful. God surprises me daily. the romantic poets wrote of nature, and i understand why.

Currently Listening Remedy By David Crowder Band see related

i just finished my brown journal. i started it on my 20th birthday, and i wrote that i was afraid of what my 20th year would bring. 19 was such a hard year - the hardest yet. and 20 has been the best yet. that journal has seen me through so many things and lessons learned... beautiful and wonderful experiences of life. there were hard things, of course, but that comes with life. and i realize that. i'm learning so much... i'm encorporating lessons learned from years past into current situations, and realizing how well they fit.

i'm in a british literature class right now (yeah, for my english gen ed. don't ask.) and today we were talking about Lord Byron. he's hard for me to read, but pretty good once you delve into it. in the poem 'childe harold', he writes "and, but once kindled, quenchless evermore, preys on high adventure, nor can tire of aught but rest; a fever at the core, fatal to him who bears, to all who ever bare". i think this is true. sometimes i want an adventure, i want to live a life not safe so badly that i don't know what to do. the mountains call to me - yet i do not go often enough. i love exploring and experiencing. i wrote in my brown journal about safety - "Jesus is by no means safe... and He calls us to live a life of not playing it safe. He's good, He's the King. Show me how to live a dangerous, adventurous life, the way You lived and live. The cross is not safe. Freedom does not come from being an American - it comes from You. Freedom is in Christ. God sends us to leave our comfort zones and live with others. Fill in all my crazy weakness with your incredible strength!" then i wrote in yellow... "yellow for the sun and for peace. but not quiet peace. loud, vibrant, joyful, passionate peace."

so there we go. 'step first and allow God to act'. 'risk it all'. jump off the cliff. God is asking me not to risk only my body and my physical safety, but all of me. that's weird and scary. but that's ok.

how to love better? selflessly? to think of others more than myself? any thoughts?

elise.

ps: i love my roommates. a lot.

Currently Listening Juno By Original Soundtrack see related

the song i am listening to is singing about san francisco. i love being in the place in life where i have two homes - in amazing places. right now i would not rather live anywhere else (in the states). denver is beautiful, especially with the snow falling softly and while exploring. i love that i don't miss california, but that does not mean that i love it or them any less.

i love seeing movies. especially in indie theatres. i also love indie music. a few new ones i'm listening to: say no more, jeremy ashida, the juno soundtrack, paperbird, the classic crime's ep (seattle sessions), and postal service. good stuff.

i love my kids. they are all my favorite. i love getting to know their sweet personalities... all four of them are so different. they're precious. i love theological discussions and jokes and painting nails and dancing and throwing them around and the way they trust me.

the things that are happening in my life and in the lives around me are making me think. really hard. about things i've never thought about before, and it's kinda weird. life is changing. it's good, but kinda scary to grow up, i guess.

uganda is happening. i am fully funded. God is so faithful. i'm astonished!

Currently Listening All the Houses Look the Same By Deas Vail see related

i am intrigued, inspired, activated by life outside these windows. my heart feels like it is already on it's way there... and my body will follow soon. it has been almost exactly a year since i've been back in the states, and i'm longing to leave again. in five months i will again be gone, but not for long enough. i love this country - but mostly because of the people who are here. my heart is full of the beauty of life lived in community - be it california, colorado, canada, spain... the beauty of life in general. i see my life through photographs, sometimes. and sometimes i am frustrated that i'm not as good a photographer as i'd like to be. but i guess with that frustration comes the ability to improve. my life has vivid colors. i forget so often, though. my eyes lose the ability to see anything other than shades of gray and i get caught up in the little things. i trip and i fall, into that hole again. sometimes that hole is shallow, and sometimes it is deep. remembering the deep times... that's hard. the deepest time was a year long. and it's been six months out of the hole. i can dance again, sing again (maybe sing for the first time). love deeply and fully. my friends, i love you. i want to love you better. i'm learning... it's such a process. a hard process. thank you for loving me back. to dance is to love, i think. and this is how God romances me. He pursues me so persistently. and i forget, always. but His love for me is so great... how can i possibly forget? i stumble back to Him, fling myself off the cliff. i pray for the faith of a child... for the faith to act on the knowledge that He will and does catch me. for the faith to act on the knowledge of how life is meant to be lived. of who i am. i do know who i am... why do i keep asking? i'm not looking for anyone else to define me. i know who i am. i love the people here who remind me who i am and who i want to be. thank you. let's discover the beauty together.

i want to live simply. i want to remember to live with a joyful heart and be thankful for all that i have. i want to be a cultural anthropologist, a humanitarian, a disciple of Jesus, a mom, a wife, a lover, a friend, a child, a dancer, a photographer, a missionary, a changer, a passionate one, a traveler, a linguist, an activist, a peaceful one... and in all these identities that are in no specific order and may or may not ever come to be i want the one place i find my self and life and purpose and satisfaction and true identity to be in God. and why would i not? He is all there is. why, if He is, do i run towards lovers less wild? (disclaimer: lover meaning anything) He asks me to cast aside my idols and worship Him only.

ok. here i come. running towards the cliff, with a heart that's trusting and full. here i come.